We are here to support individuals who have experienced sexual violence.
Sexual violence includes any non-consensual sexual contact and behaviour as well as acts directed against a person’s sexuality. Sexual violence includes both sexual assault and sexual harassment.
You are not alone. Sexual violence is not your fault.
We provide a safe and confidential space, emotional support, information about options and the law, support with safety planning and information and access to resources.
About Us
All services are free and confidential
Your safety and comfort is our priority. We support you in your choices.
In addition to working one-on-one with survivors, we collaborate with community services and systems to improve responses for victims and survivors of sexual assault.
This includes ongoing conversations with health care, police services, courts etc. to ensure victims have the most trauma-informed experience possible after an assault. We also welcome all feedback and insights from survivors on their experiences with these support systems.
WE OFFER:
- Counselling for all genders and all ages
- Specialization in the traumatic effects of sexual violence
- Third Party Reporting
- Information and referral
- Emotional Support
- A safe, non-judgmental place to speak and express yourself
- Assistance with safety planning, problem solving, and risk assessment/reduction
- Information surrounding existing services and resources as well as support accessing them
- Support accessing and navigating navigating the legal system
- Accompaniment to court, the RCMP, the hospital, and other
appointments - Provide local transportation, accompaniment, and advocacy
- Information regarding reporting options
Meet our Coordinator
Margo
Meet with our Counsellor
Reporting vs. Disclosing
What is the difference between Disclosing and Reporting?
A Disclosure: Is telling someone about what happened. You can talk to a friend, a counselor, a doctor, an elder, a family member or someone else that you feel safe sharing your story with.
A Report: Is making an official report to the authorities, like the RCMP.
Reporting Options
Support workers can explain available reporting options and offer support as you decide. In most circumstances, it is your choice whether you report the sexual assault to police. The exception to this is when someone’s safety is at risk.
If you decide to report the sexual assault to police, the police will start to investigate what happened. A victim service worker can provide support, information, and give you updates as well throughout this process. There is no time limit to report a sexual assault.
If you do not wish to report the assault directly to police, you can choose to make a third-party report which allows you to provide details about the assault to police anonymously through a third-party agency.
Third-Party Reporting
Information and Resources for Survivors of Sexual Assault includes more detailed information regarding medical and reporting options, what to expect, and what supports are available.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
You may be wondering how you can help yourself in the days and weeks ahead. There are caring, confidential and non-judgmental services in our communities. Contact us for support, information, and referrals.
Your Healing,
Your Choices
MEDICAL CARE
If you have been sexually assaulted, call 911 or go to your local emergency department if that is a safe option for you. While the decision is yours to make, getting medical care after sexual assault is important, even if you do not have obvious physical injuries.
WHAT TO EXPECT AT THE HOSPITAL
Medical care can include treatment of internal and external injuries and pregnancy prevention. It is your choice what medical care you receive. Expect to receive full information about your treatment options and the care available to you. You can have a friend, family member or support worker stay with you at the hospital.
To learn more about what to expect from a hospital visit and what your choices are, visit the SAFE (Sexual Assault Forensic Examination) program website.
FORENSIC MEDICAL EXAM
If you were assaulted within the past 7 days, you can choose to have a forensic medical exam to collect evidence, even if you don’t want to report the assault to the police at this time.
These nurses are specially trained to collect physical evidence and provide compassionate medical care to survivors of sexual assault.
WHAT IS CONSENT?
Everyone who engages in sexual activity must legally give their permission. We all have ultimate rights and say over our own bodies and how and when we participate in sex or any form of physical touch with someone. Below are some reminders about what consent is and is not.
You can only consent for yourself, you can’t consent for someone else. Consent can be changed or taken away at any time.
The person must be capable of giving:
• They must be AWAKE
• They must be in CONTROL of their mind and body
• They must be SOBER
• They must feel SAFE
• They must not feel pressured
• They must be able to give INFORMED consent*
*Informed consent means that the person giving permission must fully understand what they are consenting to. They must be able to reasonably predict outcomes and consequences for the behaviour and take responsibility for the decision. This is a good example of why children can not give consent for sexual activity. They aren’t yet able to weigh the risks and benefits, predict consequences and make an informed decision.
People in positions of power, trust or authority can’t abuse their position to get sex. Consent gets blurred when there is a power imbalance between the two parties, ex: Boss and Employee, Teacher and Student – because sometimes people use these positions of power (the fear of losing a job, missing out on a promotion or getting a failing grade) as a way to negotiate sex.
WORDS and ACTIONS must be considered when obtaining consent. If you imply NO through your words or behaviours that counts as NO. Ex: if someone isn’t verbally saying NO but their body language clearly portrays they aren’t into it (laying stiff, not responding enthusiastically, avoiding eye contact, pulling away, crying or shaking) that isn’t consent.
You have the right to change your mind, say NO or STOP at any time. No past amount of sexual activity is automatic permission for further activity. Being partly undressed already or the fact that you hooked up with the other person last weekend doesn’t mean you can’t say you’re not into it now.
How to Support a Friend
BELIEVE THEM
Research shows that if the first few respondents to the survivor believe them and support them, survivors have more confidence to go through with making a report and seeking appropriate counselling services.
ASK IF THEY NEED MEDICAL HELP
Ask them if they need medical help and if they do, take them to the nearest hospital that has a sexual assault nurse present. Do not insist that they go to the hospital if they don’t want to.
FOLLOW THEIR LEAD
When a person is assaulted they can feel a loss of control over their life and their body. If you push them to tell you more than they want to, to report the assault or to submit to a medical exam, you can re-traumatize them.
Don’t force touch or eye contact or take over the conversation. Let them tell you however they feel most comfortable.
Maybe they want to go for a walk outside, maybe they need to fidget or pace, maybe they want to go for coffee or maybe they want total privacy… whatever they feel comfortable with.
STAY AWAY FROM WHY
Questions like “Why didn’t you?” or “Why did you?” inadvertently judge the survivor. Recognize that everyone deals with their own personal situation differently.
We don’t want to say anything that implies the victim should have or could have done something better. It is not their fault!
KNOW YOUR LOCAL RESOURCES
Take time to learn where to easily access services in your area. The more options for support and reporting choices you can offer, the more empowered the survivor will feel.
LISTEN
Listen without judgment and without offering unsolicited advice. Offer support and let the person know that you are there for them. Allow them to talk through their feelings — it’s one of the best ways to support someone who has been assaulted.
LEARN
Learn more about trauma-informed approaches to supporting someone who discloses a trauma like sexual assault to you. For tips on how to respond to disclosures, the Canadian Women’s Foundation has put together a list of How to Support Survivors of Sexual Violence.
There are a variety of ways that people respond to trauma. Understanding the ways they may behave after an assault or the various triggers they may experience is helpful in being a good support person.
Bystander Intervention
Bystander Intervention are tips and techniques that are taught to counteract Bystander Apathy or the Bystander Effect. The Bystander Effect is a social, psychological phenomenon in individuals are less likely to offer to help a victim when other people are present.
Sometimes, the greater number of bystanders, the less likely it is that any one of them will intervene. Bystander Intervention teaches people safe, non-violent ways to A: trust your gut and recognize that something isn’t right and B: interrupt the situation before it gets worse.
THE 6 D’S OF BYSTANDER INTERVENTION
DIRECT
Directly calling something out and confronting the perpetrator “don’t do that”, “he/she obviously doesn’t like that”, “can we not…” It can be recognizing that something isn’t ok and going and sitting with the person to ensure they are safe. And if you don’t feel comfortable intervening it can be something as simple as staying there and making it clear that you are witnessing what is
happening.
DISTRACT
Derailing the incident by interrupting it with a distraction: spilling something, asking someone to go for a walk or help you, quietly asking a supervisor or someone in charge to come hang out and watch the situation, asking someone to come with you to pick something up.
DELEGATE
Asking for assistance or help from others, usually a person in an authority position or someone you think is better suited to handle the situation.
DELAY
Even if you saw or heard something but didn’t do anything in the moment, you can always help support the victim by telling them that you know what happened and asking them if you can support them in any way.
DOCUMENT
Recording the incident for future reference if needed, jotting down date/times or filming something with your phone. Let the victim know you have documentation of what happened. Do not share it without their consent.
DEFEND
Maybe you don’t feel comfortable intervening but someone else is, provide back-up and support to that person, stand with them.
Stay Informed
AGE OF CONSENT IN CANADA
- Children under 12 are unable to consent in any circumstance
- With Children/Youth ages 12-16 there is some flexibility for
peer partnerships that are close in age. This age group can
still not consent with an adult. - The official age of consent in Canada is 16 years old
IF YOU ARE BEING FORCED INTO SEXUAL ACTIVITY
- Remember – the way you are dressed, if you were flirting or
your consumption of drugs/alcohol never justify sexual violence. - Trust your gut.
- It’s OK to lie to the person. Tell them you are sick, tell them you need to go to the bathroom, get a friend to call you with an “emergency”. If you are feeling unsafe or uncomfortable it’s OK
to make up any excuse to get away. - Try to think of a safe escape plan. Where is the nearest door? Where is your phone? Will someone hear you if you scream?
RESOURCES
If you’re looking for information about sexual assault, safety planning, legal options, technology safety, crisis support, or other community services, we’ve gathered these resources on our main Golden Women’s Resource Centre website.
CONTACT
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